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Tae on Personal Relationships
The sum of change relies on knowing which factors lead us to trouble, says Tae.
Phot Credit: http://1001zones.com
There are many times that the outcomes of my personal relationships with people around me turn sour. No matter what I do or no matter how much I try, the situations do not get better.
Sometimes, I wonder if the problems are from me or from the people around me.
Buddhism teaches me to think at a different angle. I am the one who has to take responsibility for whatever happens in my life, whoever I bring into my circle and whichever situation I am living in.
It is easy to blame other people for our own misery than to admit that most of the time it’s our own misery that plays the most important part in a bad situation.
Once I believe that my problems stem from other people, I do not see a way out. My impulsive solutions to the situation are the reactions to the actions towards me. Like throwing a ball against a wall, the more force I exert the stronger the ball bounces back at me.
When crisis looms and a situation is getting worse, I resolve not to continue the situation. I determine to address the root of the problem. I know I am the one who needs to change. Like Gandhi said, we must be the change we wish to see in the world. To scale that grand idea back to the personal life, I believe I have to change to whatever I want to see in my life.
In Buddhism, we believe all life, no matter how small or how big, is connected. One small action produces a ripple effect reaching all around us. We are taught to take responsibility no matter if situations are good or bad.
In this equation, I am a variable and people around me are fixed numbers. If I want another side of the equation to become a positive number, I have to be a positive number myself. If people around me are negative numbers, I have to be the positive one. The more negative they are, the more positive I have to be.
In this equation, it is up to me to be a positive number or a negative number.
In this equation, it is up to me to transform the outcome of my situation.
03/10/2011 - 12:36
